When I lived with Miss Norma as her companion, driver, friend she would tell me I was a free agent. I could do anything I want. After being married 30 years, I totally get what that means. I don’t have anyone else telling me what to do, asking me to do something different than what I am doing. I don’t have to coordinate meals. I don’t have to do a lot of things that in the past were a part of my life.
I am a strong believer in we create our own destinies. I have watched as I have set my intentions, trusted that when the time is right it will manifest. And when it does it is often better than I could ever imagine. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, is this real? Sometimes I have to say, we can’t make this stuff up, it is what it is.
I had a woman once tell me that the way I was living my life wasn’t sustainable. I had another woman tell me that I do too much. Well I reject both of those judgements. Everybody gets to live their life in their own way. I learned that from watching my Momma. She did it her way, all the way to the very end. I had been a free spirit for decades, doing my own thing in my own way, but watching my mother on her final journey on this earth plane, gave me a whole new respect for just what it meant. She too was a free agent, not taking any orders from anyone.
This feeling of freedom to do whatever I want, when I want, is not something I will give up easily. After being married for 30 years to a man I deeply loved, who loved me equally, I’m not in a hurry to get into a relationship. For a while after his death, I missed so much of what we had, but no one could replace him. I wanted that feeling of being married to my best friend again. Well, as we get older, the dating game is icky. I don’t like playing it. It takes a while to build a relationship where one could be considered a best friend.
I watch the women I’m involved with and am grateful I don’t have a mate. One husband has the news on all the time he is awake, and he wonders why he is grumpy. Another significant other is always a negative nincompoop, always complaining about something. Another wife “asks” if it is ok that she goes somewhere.
I love being a free agent and Living Life My Own Way.