Setting My Pace

During my healing journey through cancer, my doctors, both western and functional, told me I needed to slow down and let my body heal.  I struggled with what slowing down meant.  I spent numerous hours with my therapist on how to do that. 

While having radiation treatments, my functional doctor told me to pick one thing a week, and that is all I was allowed to do.  I made it through the radiation, took it “easy” for about 4 months, and then picked up the pace again to what was comfortable for me. The next year when I started on immunotherapy, it totally zapped my energy.  I had about an hour, two at the most, first thing in the morning where I had energy to do basic home chores, walk the dog, and feel alive.  Then for the rest of the day I was down, lounging on the couch.  Wanting to do things, but not having the energy to do it.  I told my oncologist that if this was life, I wasn’t interested.  To me, life is about living, doing, enjoying.  He put me on a prescription drug which helped the energy level, but brought out an anger that I had never seen within myself. I was able to maintain the energy level after recognizing that the price of the drug was anger, and I chose to go off of it.

Since that time, I do, I go, I am always looking for something to occupy myself.  Sometimes it is work, sometimes it is being involved with a webinar or class, sometimes it is just hanging in my air chair –  listening to the jungle birds.  Sometimes it is working on a project like writing my book.  Sometimes it is cooking and sharing food with others.  As I evolve and grow into the person that I am meant to be, I am starting to realize that for me, my happy pace, is to stay active. Sometimes I get so busy that I have trouble keeping up with me! 

I recently had the privilege of attending a workshop, a day retreat, where I got to do some deep dives into what makes me tick, what my story is regarding my life.  As I have been struggling with trying to do too much, I asked the facilitator how to work on slowing down.  Her response to me was “Everyone sets our own pace.”  I love that!!  She also went on to say that for my age I should be grateful for having the energy and desire to do all the things I do.  Many people my age just sit around on the couch all day.  I really love that!  I love life, I love helping others, I love being active.  That is my pace.  Living my best life ever means doing anything and everything I want to do.  If some things fall off my plate, that is how it is.  As long as I am pono and let people who are involved with me know that I can’t make it to whatever was planned, in a timely manner, all is good.

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