Focus, intentions, creating, the ways we bring into being the things that make up our life. I learned in my early 20’s that I could “create” the life I wanted by “focusing” on the details to realize my intentions. In my early 20’s there was a lot of I can “get” or “do” this thing by persistence and determination. In my late 20’s I started my metaphysical studies and that took my “intentions” in new focused directions, with persistence and determination still fully engaged.
I truly do believe that we are in control of the lives that we create. As a teen I learned the power of a positive attitude and that love can heal most things. I have had those times when I was unhappy with my life and I’m pretty sure I complained. I also know that at those times, I was looking for ways to make things different. I have learned we do the best we can until we know better and then we do better.
I learned from my Momma, if you don’t like the situation you are in, leave. She was a runner, the grass was always greener, or at least more interesting somewhere else. We moved a lot during my childhood and looking back on that, I can now see the lessons. I struggle with change, but I also know that growth is outside our comfort zone. Growth is a result of pain if we allow it, are willing to look at the raw uncomfortableness of the feeling, learning the lessons. For me, life is all about the lessons. What is the lesson in this thing that is making me uncomfortable, brining up old hurts, old trauma, old triggers?
Sometimes I am resistant to the things I know I should be focused on, to move myself forward in the ways I think I want. But, if I really want that, whatever “that” is, wouldn’t I make it my primary focus? I have had to take some serious deep looks within to see where the resistance is, what is blocking the desired and required focus? Worthiness? Deserving? Self-worth? Fear? It is interesting the things that surface into the light of day as we reflect on the WHY?