Emotions, which one do I write about? Anger? Vulnerability? Love? Insecurity? Power? Strength? Fear? Determination? The soul journey is wrought with emotions and they must be examined, felt, worn, and faced. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “There are no shortcuts to grace.” I understand we must do the work, going into our own personal deep darkness in order to recognize and reflect the light.
For five years I have been dancing with the diagnosis of Melanoma. FEAR Forget Everything and Run is my first instinct. Then the doctors remind me that Melanoma is one of the deadliest of cancers and that I have Wild Cell which makes it even more unpredictable. My anger sees them as fear mongers, perpetuating the cancer machine. And then my therapist reminds me that they are trying to help me.
I feel alone in the world since my partner took his life elsewhere. It leads to a great deal of insecurity and vulnerability. Through the force of love from friends, my strength and power comes flooding back so that I can live to face another day. Another roller coaster of emotions, as I pull in my power and ride this crazy life with the determination to win, whatever that means.